‘Mummy feminism’ does not exist so it cannot get things wrong.

There is no such thing as mummy feminism. Seriously.

There are women who are mothers who are also feminists. There are women who are not mothers who are feminists. Some women from both groups see that pregnancy and child-rearing and the mere fact of our female reproductive potential make us vulnerable. Some don’t. Some of us who see this vulnerability prioritise it and organise around it, and some don’t.

My subject position (like in the ‘70s in rap groups when women would preface their contributions with ‘speaking as a White lesbian…) is I’m white and disabled and gender-non-conforming and a lesbian and a single mother and I’m on benefits.  I’m a mother. That affects how those other oppressions impact on me. I am not a ‘mummy feminist’.  I’m not going to say ‘my feminism is’ but if I did make those sorts of statements they would end with ‘unmodified’ á la MacKinnon. I am representative of the women commenting on Mumsnet talkboards. I know because I have organised and attended meet-ups with other Mumsnetters  and we’re a diverse group. That’s the only thing uniting us, really.

None of us are ‘mummy feminists’ any more than we are MILFS or pramfaced welfare scum or sluts or yummy mummies  or any of the misogynistic terms tossed around by newspaper comment section freelancers or twitter sexists or facebook ‘friends’. Taking an aspect of female identity or circumstance and using it as a filter through which to view our opinions and detract from their legitimacy is not something I will stand for.

Not all women who are feminists and who are mothers are middle-class. Far from it.

In response to Glosswitch not all of us are white. Not all of us are able-bodied. Not all of us are straight. And I absolutely reject the term cis. I doubt anyone’s ‘self-perception of their gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth’ (Wikipedia) and mine certainly doesn’t.  And even if that rings true for some women, conforming to the feminine gender is not a privilege. It might be a passport to marriage or employment or acceptance but those things come at a huge cost for women.

I think the tactic of listing one’s privileges in order to distance oneself from one’s oppression as a woman can seem like obfuscation. It’s a way of distancing oneself from it – a way of being for others rather than speaking from one’s own subject position. You don’t need to be oppressed for your sexual orientation or your race or your gender non-conformity or your disability in order to know that women are oppressed for being women. Surely it’s obvious that part of that oppression (arguably the greater part) comes from our reproductive vulnerability. Saying that does not mean that all women will have children or that our purpose is to have children. It doesn’t detract from the reality of other oppressions. Women are nothing If not multi-taskers (essentialism joke) and I can (and do) work on my prejudices and on ending other oppressions while also working out how male oppression affects me personally.

If you have a platform as a feminist mother and you don’t feel it’s important to talk about motherhood from a feminist perspective, talk about something else. But don’t dismiss the rest of us who do find it important, alongside other issues.

It seems that there’s a weird acceptance of the disparaging term ‘mummy feminism’ and a rush to decry it without deconstructing the label. Yes, some discourse within feminism can sound solipsistic in the extreme. I would say that applies as much to third wave ‘sex-positive’ feminism as it does to middle-class white mother feminism. However, only one of those would have adherents who would accept the label. Nobody says ‘oh I’m a middle class white mother feminist’ and if they did it’d be a subject position and not a movement.  This is a label that has been slapped on anyone commenting on feminism within Mumsnet’s talk boards.

Well, I’ve been a member of Mumsnet since 2004. The feminist section wasn’t created until much later – March 2010. However, for as long as I can remember, women discussed feminist issues  on the boards. I remember debates on pornography which reignited my love for radical feminism.  I’ve had my ups and downs (understatement) with Mumsnet and I don’t use it as much as I did but that is by no means due to a dismissal of the reality of motherhood.

Women who are feminists have, at times, sought to distance themselves from their female reproductive capacity. Monique Wittig is a notable example, as is Shulamith Firestone. I understand the urge to name childrearing as oppressive and to reject the identity of mother or potential mother, particularly when considering heteronormativity or compulsory heterosexuality. I also understand that the criticism of motherhood as an institution has often been perceived as middle-class. Within a liberal feminist framework of ‘choice’, it often truly has been middle-class. Which, as Glosswitch says, is not to say it isn’t important. I can see Bell Hooks’s point that outwith the white middle-class, women have always worked and will always work and that womanist writers have valued motherhood rather than emphasising issues such as the glass ceiling. I agree with her that looking at motherhood, rather than ‘parenting’ is important. They are very different things. Radical feminists don’t tend to focus so much on issues such as combining work and motherhood as on issues like motherhood rendering all women vulnerable, whether in paid work or not.

I think that the issue of motherhood and feminism will continue to be important to women and I think it’s equally important we are able to examine whether the issues are being explored through a liberal/reformist or radical/materialist feminist lens, as this is crucial for understanding one another.  It does not mean there are no other feminist issues and it does not mean that all mothers are feminists. For example, I doubt the Netmums campaigning for less disabled parking spaces would identify as feminists.

It comes back to what Hannah Mudge said – motherhood can affect our priorities as feminists and that doesn’t make them inherently more or less important than the priorities of other feminists.

We do all need to pull together and demonstrate unity on the issues that unite us all as women. However, that doesn’t mean dismissing needs that affect us within smaller groupings. A willingness to hear one another and  to fight for one another is crucial. An openness to an exploration of the significance of female reproductive vulnerability can be part of that. I wish it were a passport to middle-class privilege but in the mean-time I’ll keep fighting alongside my sisters who are in the same boat as me (there aren’t that many disabled radical lesbian feminist mothers so we have room on our boat for a fridge and a library), and working hard as an ally to women in different circumstances. I don’t see how on earth else we’re meant to accomplish anything.

Speaking from our experience as women and listening to one another is what made the Mumsnet feminist section so powerful and it’s what makes feminism powerful.